HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN TO LEAVE AND WHEN TO STAY?

SO, HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN TO LEAVE AND WHEN TO
STAY?

The answer to that is in your feelings.

It's about what you want and how what he's
offering fits into what you want.

It's about making a choice to be at the mercy
of one man, or to have your choice of men.

It's about making a choice to put your life on
hold and "wait" for him as long as he wants you
to, or to take your life in your own hands and
"date" him for as long as YOU want.

Because one thing's for sure: when you're
"waiting," the choice you're making is to NOT make
a choice.

Your choice is to give up your choices.

When you "wait," you're letting HIM choose how
YOUR life goes.

You're putting your life in HIS hands.

You're saying you have no options but to wait.

And it's not his fault.

He's not doing anything wrong, he's just doing
what he feels like doing.

He isn't thinking about your future, or what's
good for you.

He figures that you, just like him, are where
you are because that's where you want to be.

He figures that if you're waiting around for
him, you're doing it because that's all you have
going.

Rori used to blame her "boyfriend" for "leading her
on."

But it wasn't his fault.

He might have been taking advantage of Rori’s
"waiting," but, he didn't even see it as taking
advantage.

He just saw Rori doing what she wanted to do, just
like he was.

He wasn't about to take responsibility for her feelings.

"After all," he thought, "she's a grown-up."

And after all, he wasn't out-and-out lying to
her.

He thought she was waiting because she wanted to
wait.

But that wasn't what it felt like to Rori.

Rori never saw that she had a choice.

Have you ever felt that?

Like you're at the mercy of your feelings for
him, and then at the mercy of your feelings of
helplessness and anger?

And it just doesn't have to be that way.

Just looking at a man's point of view - doesn't
it make you want to scream at him - "Can't you see
I'm sick of waiting for you?"

Even though we know he'd just stare at us,
puzzled. "What?" he'd say.

"I told you I wasn't ready - this was YOUR
decision," he'd say.

And all we can do is stare back.

We know he's right.

And we hate him for it.

And we still don't know what to do.

"Give him time," is what everybody says to us.

Friends, family.

And some say, "Dump him right now."

And it sounds like good advice, but how do we
just ...leave?

After all the time we've invested?

The weird thing is, sometimes we get totally
invested right off. Even after just a date or two.

Ever happen to you?

Where you know instantly that "he's" the one?

And then we just hang on, convinced that we can
convince him to know it, too?

The thing is, men often DO know when they've
met their "one." (Even though it's usually hard
for us to tell by the way they act and talk, and
sometimes it scares us off just to think it might
be true.)

And that's just one more reason why "waiting"
is such a bad idea.

If we just hang around, waiting when a man is
stalled - he just loses interest in us, bit by
bit, day by day.

How can that be?

It's so unfair, because we're TAUGHT to be
patient.

We're taught to be understanding.

We're taught to know that men need "time" and
"space."

When, really, giving a man "time" and "space"
while we "wait patiently" for him is like shoving
him out the door.

It's like putting a sign around our neck that
says: "I'm waiting for YOU."

We close down our hearts to all other men.

We spend our time thinking about HIM.

We WAIT.

The problem with waiting is not what it does to
him - though it affects him about as negatively as
anything we can possibly do.

The problem is what it does to US.

Waiting says to the world: my life is on hold
for this man.

It says to the world: I don't think much of
myself, I have nothing worthwhile to do, there are
no men who are interested in me besides this one,
so I'm waiting for HIM.

And what that looks like to the world, and to
HIM, is a lack of self-esteem.

It looks like insecurity and neediness.

So - how do you wait a reasonable length of
time for a man to make up his mind about you
without looking like you're waiting?

The simple answer is: you don't wait. Not ever.

If You're Tired Of Waiting For Him To Step Up...Do This!

Hi Ladies!

Are you finding yourself
waiting around for a man, and like feeling
trapped and frustrated?

It's not your fault!!!

We've all been taught to let a man take his time -
even with OUR time - and to be steadfast and loyal
with men.

Even if it means our own self-confidence suffers.

If you'd like to take better care of yourself with
your man in a way that will bring him CLOSER
instead of pushing him away...

Then take a moment to learn what makes a
man go crazy for you - and why the "normal" way
we do relationships often makes a man stall any
sort of commitment - by reading about

http://www.HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com/TargetingMrRight"

Ladies ,

Have you ever found yourself WAITING around for
a man?

Waiting for him to call, waiting for him to say
he loves you, waiting for him to book you up on a
Saturday night, waiting for a lifetime commitment?

If you've ever felt desperate at that moment,
absolutely helpless, you're not alone.

Some of us have waited evenings, watching
television and hoping a man would call.

Some of us have waited years for the engagement
ring to show up.

So, how long is too long to wait for a
commitment from a man?

In the relationships Rori Raye had that lasted more
than a few dates or a few months, she
waited more than a year, only to learn there was
no "real" relationship to begin with.

" I remember hearing a man say things like "I'm
not ready," and just ignoring the words I was
hearing.

I don't much want to remember the nights when
he never called, the weekends when I knew he was
with "old friends" who I was sure were women he'd
once been with.

I don't want to remember wondering why exactly
I was waiting for him, but I do.

I remember pushing those doubts and thoughts
right out of my head.

I remember feeling so tied to him emotionally,
sexually, chemically and every other way that I
made excuses for him.

And I remember that I wasn't the only one I
knew waiting around for a man.

I remember my close girlfriend waiting two
years for a man she was with.

I remember another girlfriend waiting eight
years.."

None of us got those men we were waiting for,
but later, all of us found good men and married
them easily, without ever waiting for them at all!

Right?

On the other side, I have a friend who stayed
with her man for 5 years before he proposed. She
got her man, and she's very happy.

So what makes the difference?

How do you know whether to wait and hope or
leave and start fresh?

Here's a letter from "Jennie":

"Hi!

I have been in a relationship for over
7 yrs. and have read many books, but it's your
book that has helped me the most. I have been
trying to get my boyfriend to move ahead some in
our relationship.

I am committed to this man and this relationship,
but at times I feel he is the one who has one foot
in and one foot out. I have been slowly adding in
your tools, and I have seen a change and your
tools have worked for me. The Lean back works great
and worked right away.

But, I'm wanting a full commitment from him, and
I'm unsure how to go about it. We have talked in
the past but I feel I am the only one who wants
it, I am the only one pushing for it, so I have
been working with your tools to change how I
approach all this.
Is there a faster way to a commitment? And if so,
what can I work on to get him to move forward in
our relationship? Please help me - 7 yrs is along
time!

Love,

Jennie"

A reply from Ms. Rori Raye:

You don't say whether you are
living together, or if marriage has ever come up.
So let's answer this in general terms.

Relationships move forward. They move along
down the road - from dating to exclusivity, to
engagement, to marriage.

If they don't move forward, they stall.

At seven years, you are stalled.

My guess is, he doesn't want to lose you. But
the question I have for you is - if he can't or
won't commit, will you leave?

Before you can speak from your heart at all,
before you can even talk about commitment with
him, you have to at least be able to talk to
yourself about it.

You don't have to leave, but you have to BE
ABLE TO.

And then - you have not just one choice, or two
- but you have many, many choices.

All of a sudden, you can MAKE choices.

You'll stop feeling helpless and desperate and
angry, and start feeling powerful... which you
are. Very powerful.

This is what my friend who stayed with her man
5 years before he proposed was able to do.

She was able to be with him, and still stay
open to other men and the things that were
important to her. Things that had nothing to do
with men.

She felt so comfortable with herself and her
life that, even though she loved him and he KNEW
she loved him, she never gave off that feeling of
desperation.

He just finally realized he wanted to love a
woman and be loved by a woman, and he finally
realized that it was her.

He always knew it was her - he just needed to
take his time.

She never got angry.

She never got suspicious or distrustful.

Because she knew she was making the choice to
be with him.

And when she felt too intensely, or sad, or
upset, she stepped back enough to get her bearings
and see if she wanted to choose to be with him
even one more day.

You can do it, too.

Even if you've felt, or you're feeling now,
helpless because you love him, you can do this.

We're talking here about Circular Dating-
and how you can stay in a relationship as
long as you're able to leave!